Pull the plug on the panic button
No matter what’s making you anxious, use these tips to feel calmer and reduce stress
By Deborah Armstrong ’87

 was sitting around a table with nine people who were working on a community project. In conversation, four of them revealed that they were dealing, or had dealt, with feelings of anxiety and panic. This didn’t surprise me because even seemingly ordinary situations may evoke anxiety.

For example, a review of American Psychiatric Association research suggests that as many as one in five people are anxious about speaking or performing publicly. The research also shows that one in seven responds to a single traumatic event with heightened and persistent anxiety. And, of course, more frequent exposure to traumatic events increases the risk of anxiety.

If you find yourself in a potentially anxiety-producing situation, consider these practical ways to increase your feelings of calm.

Practice breathing
Most people find that as they slow down their breathing, and breathe more deeply, they feel more relaxed. However, some people have become used to shallow breathing. They take short breaths and expand mostly the top portion of their lungs. To check your breathing, try placing your hand on your diaphragm. If you’re breathing deeply, using your full lung capacity, your hand will move as your diaphragm moves. If your hand isn’t moving when you breathe, your breathing is too shallow.

If so, you may benefit from this exercise. Start by exhaling vigorously to expel the air from your lungs. Then take a deep breath, hold it for a moment, then exhale vigorously. Take another deep breath in, and hold that for a moment. Exhale vigorously. Continue breathing in that rhythm at a pace that is comfortable for you.

Reason with yourself
Unless you’re facing an obviously life-threatening situation, there’s usually not an immediate need to panic. In this moment, you’re probably safe enough. And odds are, if something were endangering your life or well-being, you would find a way to protect yourself.

In everyday situations, such as a presentation or an unexpected meeting with your supervisor, it may help to remind yourself, “I’m okay. I can handle this.” If when you think of meeting with your supervisor you find yourself wondering, “What have I done wrong?” it may help to focus instead on all that you’ve done well. Even if your supervisor says something critical, you may be reassured by the quality of the work you regularly deliver.

Distract yourself
Focus on something other than the anxious feeling, such as the softness of a pillow or blanket or stuffed animal. Notice the texture of the fabric. Focus on the sensation of touching or stroking the fabric.

Those who have dogs or cats may find themselves relaxing as they stroke their pet. Research has found that stroking a pet tends to reduce blood pressure and increase relaxation (Beck).

When pillows, blankets and pets are not handy, look for alternatives. If you’re about to speak to a group, and wearing a silk scarf or tie, it may help you feel calmer to stroke that fabric. In your supervisor’s office, you might also calm yourself by glancing at paintings or photos on the wall.

Picture a secure place where you can relax
Picture a secure and comfortable place where you can feel calm and relaxed (Schwartz). This may be a vacation place at the shore or a favorite chair. Think of the colors that go with that secure place, the sounds and any smells, such as the waves hitting the beach, the sea air or the familiar creak of your chair. Think of the textures that might be in that place—the grittiness of sand, the velvety grass or the fabric of a chair. This secure place is uniquely yours, a place you can always have with you in your mind, to close your eyes and think about when you need to relax.

Move
Anxiety may lead to physical restlessness, difficulty sitting still, and a desire to move. It may help relieve the sense of physical tension to walk, or bike or even clean the house.

At your job, take breaks. Walk away from your desk to mail a letter, consult a coworker, or step outside for some fresh air on a nice day. Leave your work area at lunchtime.

Resist negative thoughts
Negative thoughts include “I’m helpless” or “I’m powerless in this situation.” Such thoughts are often left over from childhood situations when you were little and less powerful. To drive away such thoughts, you can remind yourself, “I’m an adult now. I have choices about how to handle this.” Instead of “I’m helpless,” try telling yourself, “I have options.” In every situation, you can select a path that is good for you, and that will help you feel better.

Talk with family and friends
Feelings of anxiety and panic are relatively common. Find out if anyone in your family or among your friends has successfully faced the same kinds of situations that cause your anxiety. If they’re willing to talk about their experiences, ask them what they did to relieve their anxious feelings.

For example, if anxiety hits when you have to speak before a group, ask them what techniques they used to calm their fears. If they overcame, for example, a fear of driving in heavy traffic, ask them to share their fear-reducing actions. Chances are good that you’ll feel better just by talking to others and learning that it is possible to overcome anxious feelings.

If anxiety persists
Persistent anxiety poses a more serious problem. It’s likely that those who suffer from it have been through some difficult experiences. Their feelings of distress or apprehension about the future may linger long after a traumatic experience, even when they’re safe in the present. Fortunately, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can help. It’s been approved by the American Psychological Association as a way of processing difficult experiences so that distress about them goes down and stays down. To find an EMDR therapist in your area, visit www.emdria.org.

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Deborah Armstrong, Psy.D., is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Haddonfield (www.drdeboraharmstrong.com). She has presented self-care seminars to churches, schools and community groups. Counseling since 1992, she has co-authored research articles in professional journals and taught pastoral counseling at Palmer Theological Seminary. She completed her psychology internship at Princeton University Counseling Center and specializes in counseling adults.