School smarts for parents all year ’round
A parents’ primer on helping children and their teachers succeed
by Robert E. Weyhmuller, Jr. ’81

ave you ever met parents who don’t want their children to go to college? Do you know a teacher who tells her students they will go far with just a high school diploma? Everyone wants to see children go on to higher education, but before students are accepted into college, they first need to succeed in elementary and high school. That won’t happen without parents and teachers working together.

Involvement
So what can parents do? Get involved. Sure you’re busy—everyone is these days. But getting involved doesn’t necessarily mean baking brownies and chaperoning dances (although teachers will be grateful if you do). Getting involved means knowing what your child is learning in school, knowing the teacher’s routine, and supporting for your child when necessary.

To find out what your child is learning in school, don’t ask the proverbial question (you already know the answer to that one). Instead, ask your child to teach you something she learned in school today. People remember 10 percent of what they read, 20 percent of what they hear, 30 percent of what they see, 50 percent of what they see and hear and 90 percent of what they say as they perform a task. Teaching is talking and performing. When your child teaches you a concept introduced in school, she has mastered it.

You can help your child be prepared for school by learning the teacher’s routine. Are spelling words given on Monday and tested on Friday? Is there a test at the end of every social studies chapter? Knowing the routine enables you to help your child be prepared. Teachers, like most people, are creatures of habit. They follow a routine not only for giving tests, but also for the kinds of tests they give. Examine a science test, for example. If the teacher always includes a matching test on the exam, you might help your child study by making up your own matching test.

No matter how studious or well-behaved your child is, there will be times when you will need to intervene on her behalf. Always be your child’s advocate but never become the teacher’s adversary. If you feel your child has been wronged, defend her. Call the teacher, have a conference, work things out the best you can, but don’t make the teacher the enemy. When parents and teachers are openly hostile toward each other, the child almost always becomes the loser.

Homework help
Most parents know the only way their child will master a new skill is by practice. That’s why they spend so much time driving to gymnastics practice, watching baseball practice and listening to music practice. But what about homework? Homework is school practice and children must practice to master new academic skills, too. But parents cannot supervise homework unless they know what assignments were given. Here’s where home and school can work together.

When Gregory T. Donahue ’74 became principal of Ocean City Intermediate School he felt so strongly that parents need to know their child’s homework assignments that he instituted a telecommunication system called the Homework Hotline. This telephone mailbox system initially cost about $2,000 but quickly earned the praise of teachers and parents alike.

A homework assignment book is a low-tech way to ensure assignments get home. Teachers can do their part either by distributing a homework assignment sheet at the beginning of the week or by giving students ample time to copy assignments from the chalkboard into their books. Parents should check the book nightly. The beauty of an assignment book shines through when parents and teachers use it to communicate by jotting brief notes back and forth.

So how do you solve the problem of the child who doesn’t bring his assignment book home? Through rewards and consequences, of course. Some teachers give homework bonus points when parents initial the book nightly, and parents can make a careless student responsible to call a classmate and determine the assignment.

Thinking more
Children who learn how to think will succeed in school. Remember when your child drove you crazy by asking “Why?” Now you can make her a better thinker by asking the same question. “Why is there a stop sign on that corner? Why were racial tensions so high in the 1960s? Why aren’t you allowed to stay out past midnight?”

Often in school, teachers will ask, “Why?,” but don’t allow children enough time to reply. Silence is golden—except following a direct question—then it may be perceived as ignorance, inattentiveness, denial or lingering. After asking a child, “Why?,” give him time to think and never let others answer for him.
Enriching recess

Children work hard throughout the school year but summer is no time for their brains to take recess. Parents can keep cobwebs from forming by providing activities that are both fun and educational. One of the best ways is by reading aloud. When your son or daughter snuggles close to you for 20 minutes every day, you’ll probably realize that reading aloud is the most pleasurable summer activity you do together.

Summer field trips keep your children thinking. Introduce them to new people and ideas at museums, zoos and cultural events. Mummies, dinosaurs, exotic animals and historic reenactments will exercise their imaginations and broaden their view of the world around them.

All children will enjoy the rewards of a successful school career when parents and teachers work together. At home, parents must remain vigilant. Being a student is a full-time job and most jobs require a supervisor. If you’re wondering when your child will be old enough to do it on his own, the answer is simple. If he’s doing it, he’s old enough. If not, hang in there. The rewards are well worth the effort.

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Robert E. Weyhmuller, Jr. is a learning disabilities teacher/ consultant with 24 years experience in public education. He is the author of Beyond the Bus Stop: 180 Ways to Help Your Child Succeed in School (Heinemann, 1999). Awarded the National Parenting Center Seal of Approval, his book is available at the Rowan University Bookstore, at local bookstores, on the Internet, or directly from the publisher by calling (800) 793-2154. Some material in this article is excerpted from Beyond the Bus Stop with permission.